{"id":308,"date":"2019-08-09T02:07:33","date_gmt":"2019-08-09T02:07:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gonbys.com\/?p=308"},"modified":"2019-08-09T02:07:33","modified_gmt":"2019-08-09T02:07:33","slug":"leicester-fosse-1911","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/?p=308","title":{"rendered":"Leicester Fosse, 1911"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There came a point, mid-Friday, where Jack Dudley\u2019s words rang horribly true, like a spiteful conscience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cY\u2019am mad, Gonby!\u201d he\u2019d said at The Fox that previous Tuesday, as I rapped the pack for him to cut. “Absolutely bloomin’ barmy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I turned up a jack. \u201cWe\u2019ll get in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo yer woe,\u201d he\u2019d replied as I pegged my two points. Corny Slice and I were on our way to winning by a street but Jack seemed determined to at least win the argument. Now, as I finished elaborating my sixth disguise of the day, I felt as though he\u2019d all but succeeded. I looked at Rex Bush, who gave a dry smile beneath his false moustache and saluted. We stowed the costume chest under the sinks and left the public convenience with haste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan we move along\nplease, ladies and gentlemen?\u201d called Rex as we approached the\nqueue. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to see here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a\nfootball match to see,\u201d said one of the assembled, a rickety old\ndame with spectacles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot for another\ntwo days, there isn\u2019t,\u201d I said, in officious tones, \u201cNow please\nvacate the area. You are causing a disturbance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut there\u2019s\nonly five of us!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that, in a\nnutshell, was the problem. The Filbert Street ground had capacity\nfor only four spectators, and as a supporter of the visiting team you\nhad no chance of being there before a capacity crowd had formed at\nthe turnstile. Our only hope was to trick at least sixty percent of\nthose assembled into leaving, even for a minute, and then taking\ntheir places in the queue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rex said I made a fetching bride, but it was three days since my last shave and police helmets don\u2019t make the most realistic padding<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Five different ruses\nhad already failed: sandwich boards offering free cakes and sausages\nat the local bakers\u2019 and butchers\u2019 shops; firemen needing access\nto the hydrant; peaky blinders on an extortion racket (we\u2019d\nactually made ninepence off that, but returned it guiltily once it\nwas clear they were still not moving); phantoms (the old girl with\nglasses asked Rex if he could pass a message on to her Albert, who\nhad passed away some years before); and a married couple seeking help\nsaving their baby drowning in the nearby Soar (Rex said I made a\nfetching bride, but it was three days since my last shave and police\nhelmets don\u2019t make the most realistic padding). It wasn\u2019t clear\nwhether they had seen through our rozzer disguises or whether they\nconsidered themselves above the law, but either way they weren\u2019t\nbudging now, either. A fat pipe-smoker suggested I blow my whistle\nfor help and, with resigned looks at each other, Rex and I headed\nback down Filbert Street for our final rummage into the costume\nchest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the way to our\nmakeshift dressing room we spotted Harold Sweep pulling a very tall\ncontraption behind his bicycle. \u201cWhat yer got there, Chimdy?\u201d I\nasked him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSomething I\u2019ve\nbeen working on. I\u2019m calling it \u2018Proculorama\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll see, Gonby. By which I mean: you really <\/em>will see!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A bit cryptic, that, from Chimdy but I asked no further questions as Rex and I were keen to get into our next costumes \u2013 albeit with rather bleak views on our chances of success. If the people queuing were regulars they would smell something fishy when they didn\u2019t recognize us, but it was also unusual for players \u2013 however keen \u2013 to queue up with the public twenty-four hours before a match. As it turned out neither of these two issues came up. One of the younger assembled took exception to the kits we were wearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe blue is wrong! And I don\u2019t like the collar!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe blue is wrong! And I don\u2019t like the collar!\u201d he said, pointing at our jerseys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right!\u201d\nsaid Four-Eyes, \u201cThey wear white collars these days! Imposters! \nImposters!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The game was up, and\nthey only thing to be said for it was that we didn\u2019t have to run\naway from them because they still wouldn\u2019t budge from their places\nin the queue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Around the corner,\nwe saw Chimdy atop his construction. \u201cNearly ready, Gonby!\u201d he\ncalled, and as we had little else to do, I suggested we acquire some\nbottles of ale from a nearby outdoor, and wait to see what he was up\nto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was worth our\nwhile. The tower that he\u2019d been pulling behind his bicycle carried\na mirror positioned at a forty-five degree angle to the floor, which\nreflected the game onto the mirror on an identical tower, which\nreflected the image down to a third mirror at ground level from which\nthe game could be viewed. We could see the pitch perfectly (albeit\nin mirror-image), and congratulated Chimdy heartily on his plan. \nChimdy was excited about the project, taking out his sketch books and\nshowing me plans for further development of the Proculorama, which\nincluded placing a succession of advertising boards in front of the\nmirror at half time, charging companies for the exposure. He also\nenvisaged reflecting the images into pubs so that patrons could sup\nand smoke while enjoying the game, and even sending the images\nbetween cities. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe only\nconsideration is cost,\u201d he said, drawing deeply on his bottle of\nEverard\u2019s and lighting up a Capstan, \u201cThe mirrors have not come\ncheap. If you could chip in for the cost that would be very\nhelpful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In principle we were agreeable, but between four (Corny Slice had helped him out with the donkey work) it would be very steep. \u201cI\u2019m sure some of Leicester supporters would enjoy watching the game, too,\u201d I suggested, and for the next few hours Rex and I canvassed locals to the wonders of the Proculorama. By two o\u2019clock the next day, Chimdy had been fully reimbursed thanks to a 2d-per-head surcharge and I was laughing smugly at Jack Dudley\u2019s words of discouragement. After three minutes, however, a wayward strike by Dicky Baugh smashed the first mirror and, while players first covered their heads and then spent ten minutes retrieving shards of glass from the pitch, the four of us made our getaways with an angry mob at our heels (Rex and I grabbing onto a tower each as Corny and Chimdy pedalled furiously). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though not out of\npocket, Chimdy took the matter badly. He rebuked himself over the\ncoming weeks for not investing in thicker glass (\u201canother ha\u2019penny\nper head would have done it!\u201d he seethed over and over) and filled\nhis notebooks with improved designs while everybody else enjoyed a\ngame of crib or dominoes, or a relaxing cigarette. Such designs\nwould prove superfluous. At the end of the season, Leicester\ninformed the Football League of their intentions to make Filbert\nStreet an all-seater venue, thereby reducing the capacity from four\nto two. Chairman William McGregor wrote a terse letter describing\ntheir plans as \u201cintolerably silly\u201d, and urging them to increase,\nrather than reduce, the ground\u2019s capacity. Seeing the commercial\nviability of such a proposition, Leicester constructed a new main\nstand to the west and raised banks around the rest of the ground, and\nthus ingress to matches ceased to be a problem in the years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Watching a game at Filbert Street required guile and cunning. Or an extra halfpenny per head for the glazing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":310,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}