\u2018So, you\u2019m a highwayman, am yer?\u2019 I said, looking the figure up and down. The dusk was turning to dark, and my breath condensed in the October cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That I am, sir,\u2019 replied the figure, \u2018Now hand over whatever riches you possess.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You see,\u2019 I said, reaching for my Woodbines, \u2018That\u2019s where we have a problem. Do you want one of these?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The highwayman assented with a surly grunt, and stuck the fag behind his ear. \u2018Saving it for later, eh? Thrifty.\u2019 Tommy Ocker and Seb Sands accepted too, the latter with a rather shaky hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lit up. \u2018Times must be hard, I suppose, in your line of work\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I get by,\u2019 said the highwayman defensively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Do you? We didn\u2019t pass many coaches on the road.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Cut the chit-chat,\u2019 he snapped, waving his pepperbox pistol. \u2018I said \u201cStand and Deliver\u201d. You\u2019ve stood, now deliver.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Deliver what? I\u2019ve got about four bob in me pocket and I ay paid the rent yet. Car imagine my mates are in much brighter shape.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You didn\u2019t buy this with four bob,\u2019 said the highwayman, pointing the pistol at our means of transport, \u2018And you don\u2019t keep a driver if you pay your rent in shillings.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018She\u2019s a fine thing, isn\u2019t she? Designed by Colonel Charles Thorneycroft. Young Seb here did the current livery, I believe.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And I\u2019ll lose me job if anything happens to her,\u2019 mumbled Seb, nervously, \u2018I didn\u2019t have permission to take her out.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Through the failing light, I thought I saw some recognition pass across the highwayman\u2019s face. I let the silence ride out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your clothes betray you,\u2019 he said finally, by now more from memory than sight, \u2018They are not the tattered and oft-repaired vestments of a working man.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Thank you,\u2019 I replied. A crow called in the distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He came closer, and tested the lapel in his thumb and forefinger. \u2018That is a really nice suit,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You have to make an effort. I\u2019m not going to the football dressed in overalls like some Stafford Road supporter.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
‘What is football?’<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More suspicious silence followed. Finally he said, \u2018What is football?\u2019 Seb Sands let out a little gasp of astonishment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Football?\u2019 I said, with a draw on my Woodbine, \u2018Football is the wonder of this or any other age. It is our passion, and our consolation. It makes Saturday bristle with wondrous energy, as it makes Monday tolerable. It is an ever-fresh conversation with old friends, and the first conversation with new ones. It is pride in your town, and the people of your town. It seasons beer, and smooths the rough edges of a working life. It is a celebration, when all around is smoke and toil. It is a dream, and a reason to be humble. It is something human that doesn\u2019t meet the fate of all men. It is the air that we breathe, and the air that inflates this big ball we call the earth. It is, without the merest suspicion of a doubt, the best penny ha\u2019penny that you or I will ever spend.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018But what is it? Is it a game, entertainment\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s both. But why are we talking about it out here in the cold? There must be a pub nearby where we could chat in comfort. Let me buy you a pint.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Hmm. There\u2019s the Shepherd and Shepherdess up the road, but it\u2019s an old coaching house. They don\u2019t like highwaymen there.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are there many highwaymen in these parts?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Just me, I think.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And they know you?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I come from a long line of highwaymen. My great-great-grandfather was George Davenport.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You realize you are certainly the last in that long line?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Come on. I\u2019m sure we can sort this out. \u2018Y\u2019am all right to drive, Seb?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ar, Gonby,\u2019 said Seb. He was looking a bit more himself, having doubtless entertained notions of becoming a gentleman of the road himself rather than facing the consequences of returning a damaged coach to Tettenhall Towers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Where\u2019s your hoss?\u2019 I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The highwayman paused. \u2018I sold it,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The inn lay in a village called Newton Burgoland, and had been renamed the Belper Arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Might be better to leave the pistol in the coach,\u2019 I suggested, as Seb applied the brake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Never,\u2019 he replied, \u2018I go nowhere without the Lady of Bocheston\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leaving Seb to tend the horses, we headed for the public bar, where the highwayman\u2019s renown was soon confirmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why, it\u2019s Freddie the Footpad! Saved up for that horse yet?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Dick Turnip walks again!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Stand me a pint and deliver!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite this inauspicious start, the evening proceeded quite well. We secured rooms and stables for the night and the Everards went down very well. Freddie wasn\u2019t bad company, though he declined to give many details of his life of crime and drank only what was purchased by others. He didn\u2019t appear to be the sharpest of rapiers and struggled greatly with the offside rule, but said he would try to come along the next day \u2018if the devil doesn\u2019t take me first.\u2019 He was talking to the landlord about the price of a twenty-five year-old piebald mare when a serving wench showed us to our rooms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1 \u25a1<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I awoke at nine, penniless and without a suit. I headed straight for the bar where the landlord was replenishing stock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t know which gentleman you\u2019re referring to, but I keep a clean house of good repute.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The robber in question was well known your clientele.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I saw you enter with the three who took rooms. I\u2019ve no idea about any highwayman.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018He was speaking to you at closing time!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Sir, you are mistaken. And I believe it is high time you left this house.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I went back upstairs and woke Seb, whose suit lay untouched on the dresser. \u2018Check the hosses, Seb; the Davenports is off!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Seb returned, ten minutes later, his face bore the serenity of a sleeping child. I was smoking with Tommy (from his pack; Freddie had taken mine). The drag was untouched, the horses well rested. The lads left me to make some enquiries in the village and though nobody was willing or able to share information regarding my clothes, they did manage to procure me a set of overalls from a retired Measham miner. We got to Filbert Street early, sank a few pints and watched the Wolves lose to goals by Wilcox and the talented winger Durrant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All in all, not a bad day out, albeit a bit cold and humiliating. We returned to Wolverhampton safe and sound and Seb\u2019s master, Mr Thorneycroft, visiting his brother in Berkshire, never learned of the adventures his coach and four had encountered in the wilder parts of west Leicestershire.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Those were the days when you could still stand and deliver at the football…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":736,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=735"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/735\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonbys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}